Saving Sarah

WARNING: This story contains disturbing themes and some self inflicted violence.

Saving Sarah

“Do it!” I yelled at her. She held the knife in her hand, not quite knowing what to think. “Well go ahead, you know you want to,” I said. Her eyes filled with tears as she ran the knife against her skin. I didn’t flinch until she had carved his whole name into her arm. She slapped the knife down on the counter, the blood caked under her fingernails. I grabbed the arm she had written on and held it out.
“See what you’re doing?” I screamed. “You’re killing yourself and everyone around you!” She tried to talk, but I wouldn’t let her. “I saw how torn down you were when he killed himself, Sarah, everybody saw. Do you see your doing the same thing to us?”
She looked away and I saw her green eyes flicker back to the knife. I picked it up, not caring that there was blood on my hands. I held it out to her.
“Take it,” I dared her, “take it and devastate us just like he devastated you.” She took the knife from and held out her other arm. I watched again as she carved the name into her arm, forever marking her arms with that name. James. She fell to her knees on the linoleum floor of the kitchen. I grabbed her arm and yanked her back up.
“Get up, we’re not done yet,” I said. She refused to look me in the eye. I reached out and slapped her. The noise rang in my ears for a few seconds. Now she looked me right in the eye. “What are you going to do now?” I challenged. “How about you go hang yourself in the bathroom just like he did? You want to spread the pain? Go, do it.”
She stood stunned in the center of the kitchen. My eyes never once betrayed the fear I felt in my heart. Sarah refused to move.
“Fine,” I said as I removed my belt. “I’ll do it.” I walked toward her. With my leather belt in my hands I tried to get it around her neck. For the first few seconds, she didn’t move, she didn’t flinch, and she didn’t try to stop it. It was only when I began to tighten it, only when she could feel the leather restricting her windpipe I saw a glimmer of the girl I used to know. She fought back.
Her nails flew to my face, and I felt a knee in my stomach. She pushed me back and my back slammed against the countertop. I resisted screaming in agony. Breathing heavily, she took the belt and tossed it aside. She stood face to face with me.
“What are you gonna do?” I asked. I saw her eyes turn back to the knife once again. I gave her another hard slap, this time on the other cheek. I saw other spark of her former self. She slapped me back. I gave a wicked smile. “There she is,” I whispered, but she didn’t hear me. She averted her eyes back to the floor. “So what’s it gonnna be?” She still refused to look at me. I grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her too look at me.
“Are you going to kill us inside the same way James killed you,” I began. “You want to be a hypocrite? Fine, be a freaking hypocrite. I dare you. I grabbed the knife from the counter. “Do it, now.” She looked at me, her green eyes, now dead on the inside. I hoped for just a spark of life, and in that moment I saw it.
She hit me suddenly. Her fist flung toward me and I held on the counter, bracing for impact. She kept swinging, and I began. We began a full scale fight in the kitchen. Punches flew, and bruised would be evident tomorrow, but that didn’t matter. After a few minutes, her punches weakened, and she stopped defending herself. She had given up again.
“You know James as a big coward for doing that, and by following him, you’re just being a coward right along with him. You two are exactly the same. Something gets too hard and you crack under the pressure. You give up when things get rough. You cage yourselves in at the little sign of defeat. You think life is against you? Earth to Sarah, it’s against everyone. It’s called the world, and there are better ways to deal with it.” I drew in a long breath after that. Her upper lip curled in disgust and I heard her emit the tinniest of noises. I’ve done it now. She charged at me full force. This time I didn’t throw punches, I simply blocked a few, letting others hit me. She pounded and pounding as I stood in silence, until finally she collapsed at my feet, her breathing turned into sobs. I knelt down next to her, grasping her hands in mine.
She looked me in the eyes, and I still felt the sadness, but this time there was something else there. The smallest of sparks of hope beyond the misery. One final time, I handed her the knife. She examined it for a second, before tossing it across the floor, sliding it under the oven. She collapsed crying into my arms. I put my arms around her. At that moment, I knew that I had saved Sarah.