Josh's Mistake

“I swear I never meant for it to happen like this,” he said. A single tear fell from his eye. He looked solemnly out the window, gazing at the tranquil parking lot.
“You promised,” I said tearfully from the hospital bed. I wanted to scream at him, tell him to get out, but I knew he couldn’t take any bickering right now. He just wasn’t stable enough. I closed my eyes for a moment as I leaned back in the bed. It had been a grueling day and I wished that I had calloused my emotions earlier.
“I never would have gotten in the car if I’d known, Anna,” he told me. He looked at me, and I gazed back at him. The usually apathy hidden behind is honey colored eyes was gone. There was nothing but sorrow. “I didn’t mean to do it.”
“You promised me! You looked me right in the eyes and swore to me you stopped!” My voice rose to a scream, which soon turned to sobs. “You promised,” I said softly. He turned away. My best friend couldn’t even look at me. That was a habit of his. When he did something wrong, he never looked you in the eyes for more then a few seconds. Josh only did this to me once before.
“I know you hate me, and I know you think I’m a horrible, horrible person, but I’m pleading you, I’m begging you, please forgive me,” he said.
“Me?” I questioned. “You want me to forgive you?” My voice was rising again. “Why don’t you ask Tyler for forgiveness? You’ll find in a morgue drawer. He’s a morgue drawer. You know why he’s in there? He’s in there because…”
“Don’t you think I know why he’s there!” he yelled, curtailing my words. I continued anyway.
“He’s in there because you broke your promise and got behind the wheel. You did this to him. Maybe you can take solace in the fact that you weren’t hurt, but think about how I feel, think about how our friends feel. Think about how Tyler’s family feels.” His tears welled up again.
“I know what I did,” he whispers, trying to say something. I didn’t let him.
“Think about how my family feels, now that their only child, the star of the basketball team is confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life.” I threw the covers off of the bed, revealing my battered and beaten legs. “That crash will forever affect my life, all because of your stupid mistake.” I wondered if he was happy, now that I could no longer follow my passion. As I looked at him, I re-realized my reason for wanted to defer this conversation. He was on the verge of a breakdown.
“Josh, I didn’t mean it,” I lied. “Really, I didn’t mean it, honestly.” My mood became based on how Josh was reacting to the words coming out of my mouth.
Josh remained silent as the pandemonium of those few moments flashed before my eyes. The party (oh God I should have been watching him), giving the keys to him (I told him I could do it, but he insisted), the pensive look in his eye (I should have looking for the signs).
“It’s not fair!” he yelled. “I’m perfectly fine and Tyler’s in a body bag in the basement!” He sat down on the bed next to me. With my thumb I wiped a tear from his face and placed a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. “I did this.”
I took Josh in my arms and he leaned his head against my chest. I gave him a cursory glance before taking in the whole picture. For the first time in my life I watched my best friend weep. I tried to be strong, but it was no use. I broke down. I leaned my head on his shoulder and sobbed with him.
A promise to abstain, now broken. A diligent student, now a dejected sprit. A bright future, extinguished by the recklessness of another. A stupid mistake, now a life lost.